try everyday
every hour
every second

don't be a wuss

One of the sad truths of life is that depression is something that will sometimes happen.

Be concerned if it becomes chronic or if you quickly transition between extremes. That's really scary.

I'm drinking tea to sober myself. I haven't drunk for about three hours and I feel it "lifting".


Had an amazing night. Gorgeous guy asked for my number, made out with me.

Get bent.

I'm happy.

And even if he doesn't call, I'm still hot.

i hope he gave you mono, you slut

Oh babe, I've had that before and you can't catch it again!

I'm immune. Invincible you might say!

then aids from mouth sores

Just admit you're jealous Blair.

Don't be jealous, let's all bathe in happiness.

I'm so happy right now, please be so too

Eh, I'm ok I guess. Dinner with mom.

Moms are great!

his mom was trying to set me up with him before he came and introduced himself. she was lovely!

HE TEXT ME

Trying to decide what to wear to church tomorrow (if I pick out my outfits the night before it makes the whole getting-my-ass-out-of-bed and getting-dressed process so much easier).

Oh I know that feeling. I also systematically place things so that I almost have a map of getting up and out with the least effort and utilising my time.

i wish i had places to go.

actually, i just came from a birthday party, a luncheon thing which i hated because of course, i had to eat and i did, a lot. but not to worry, i vomited it all the second i was in the house. dispensing the spew was difficult though. ugh.

Ew texting.
Yes I'll admit I'm a snob in that I look condescendingly on cellphone owners....
yet it is helpful when you need to use a cellphone and everyone around you has one.

I hope you're kidding Blair.

Me too. But sadly, I don't think he is.

it's just an easy way out of a terrifying situation.

just woke up from a deep sleep in which i dreamt of wolves at the parking lot. i'm listening to weird cacophony of cabaret, torch, dance, electronic music of roisin murphy.

you are so fucked up blair

A doi

someone is cooking from another house
i smelled fish
then the scent wafted a bit sweeter
it's probably bacon or ham
weird how that happens

i hate myself

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

can't fool me.

you are my father.
I love you, daddy.

sl00t

That was irish of you.

Being self deprecating. You can only stay on your bed in a ball for about 4 hours before it turns sour.

I had one of my wisdom teeth removed a couple days ago, so I'm trying to take my mind off the pain right now and it's not working. Fuck!

Trying to get caught up with all of the active threads this afternoon.

Geez--so many posts, so little real content.

This one included.

Is fub irish?

i wish i was irish.
i wish i'm anything else but what i am.
i suck.

i'm listening to le tigre, dancing in my chair, just ate foodie and momentarily wanted to throw it up but decided against it. now, i gotta face the terror.

I have a cousin who's anorexic. I'm really worried for her.

she's fine. worry about yo'self. you lookin' rexic yoself.

No, I'm fucking serious about my cousin, she's been in the hospital for 6 months and the situation isn't progressing well at all.

awwwwww
::holds your hand::
it's gonna be fine.
she should stop caring about everyone else. eating disorders are all about caring about what other people say. it's like ocd. i used to have ocd, like i'd flip the light switch ten times. then i just stopped caring about what would happen, or what might, if i didn't check if they're off. so i stopped caring, stopped turning the doorknobs, making sure everything is turned off or locked. i still have little episodes though, when i'm stressed. like i'd touch the electric outlet, to feel the two holes so i'm sure the tv is not hooked in, although i can see it's clearly not. the gas, i still do that. the lights, not anymore. the doorknobs, a little. but with food, i do it. everytime i eat something, i just think it's bad for me and i gotta get rid of it. sometimes, i do. sometimes, i don't.

No, but they say "slut" like "sloot". More like "slyut"

It is wierd.

I said that I would start cleaning my grandpa's house tomorrow and right now I'm dreading doing it. My cousin is supposed to clean it, but she hasn't been doing too good of a job and the house is filthy. It's probably going to take me a couple of days to clean it. On the plus side, my dad is going to pay me $100 to do it.


Sorry to hear about your cousin CA. I'm sure she'll get better eventually.

I'd help you, I love to clean. Especially listening to some nice music. You could pay me in lemonades and conversation

I like to clean too. I always listen to music while I'm cleaning as well.

Who said I would pay you anything? Even if it was just in lemonade and conversation.

Meanie, I'm gonna go take a bath instead

Anorexia isn't about caring what other people think. It's a really shallow analysis there. It's usually the fear of growing up (and trying to stay in that boyish image you had when you're young), and according to Freud, fear of oral impregnation. I wish I was still doing anorexia in Psychology, it was one of the better topics.

And OCD is an anxiety disorder silly.

What is so frightening about anorexia is that it is a biocultural disorder. That is, every culture on this earth has anorexia, but it manifests itself very differently in each. Western anorexia is much like what Cherub's cousin is experiencing, but other cultures it is much different.

I'd agree that with anorexia in places like China it's more a sign of the media's influence. Because so many years ago it wasn't even a recognised illness, there were very few cases and then in China, being fat used to be a sign of wealth and health.

blah blah blah
my blather was a response to cherub trying to guilt me into feeling bad about his cousin or sumthin'. i was talking out of my urethra.

As for you and your bullemia thing, it's probably just a cry for help.

Food is a battle. But it's not hard to not eat for a few days every now and then.

Listening to Aimee Mann.

Just got back from day 1 of cleaning my grandpa's. Now I'm watching the simpsons.

i like food too much.

listening to the bbc dramatization of the handmaid's tale, the last part. the scene at the brothel. she's confronting moira. oooooh heartbreaking.